Fantasy Football – Week 11

12 points. It’s not a lot. It’s less than winning a serve in tennis. It’s a steak & kidney pie on Weight Watchers. It’s racing through four speed cameras. It’s also what separates first and second place. Read on to see how the league sits, and irrefutable proof that aliens exist.

Nishil Patel’s Ace999, the team everyone loves to hate, is on the back foot, and their reign is coming to an end. The Webmonkeys are coming, and it’s nearly time for them to take the crown sitting a paltry 12 points behind top spot.

Although if I was a Webmonkey, I wouldn’t get too excited and start swinging from the trees in their 2nd place. As well as being "congeries" in scrabble, 12 points is also the same difference between second and third spot. Mike Gilmour’s AFC Gilmour scored a great 51 points to jump from 8th into third.

This is where things start to get a little spooky…

2 x 12 = 24, and 24 points behind Mike’s 501 finds us Nathan Wayne’s Mainline Ram’s Return with a score of 477. What’s so special about him?… the fact that Nathan currently holds 12th place in the table, and has done for 2 weeks.

This is no mere coincidence.  

Nathan scored a reasonable 30 points this week, and in 30th position we find Greg Wallace’s Gamst Left Boot who had the highest score this week with 58.

There’s more…

30 divided by 2 gives us 15, and wouldn’t you believe it, but 15th spot belongs to Paul Llewellen and his Back2Back Champs who scored the lowest this week, a measly 21 points.

In 21st position we see Alfies HS Reds, managed by Dave Wgoda. Dave was the highest climber this week, from 28th spot having scored an impressive 53 points.

5+3=8, and in 8th spot is Beerpigs ThorneTV 11 who only scored 26 points dropping them 4 places.

11+26+4=41, and in 41st we have Jason George’s Columbus telecom, and everyone knows that Columbus discovered America which was also known as the New World.

…and ‘new world’ implies there’s a planet out there with aliens.

From next week the Webmonkeys will take over writing the league update as I’ll be touring the UK to promote my new book "How to solve the mysteries of the universe in 10 simple equations" with a follow up due next year "Expose conspiracies with 10 tenuous links".

The table as it stands.

 
 
# Team Manager Gameweek Total
1 ace999 – chatterbox Nishil Patel 24 525
2 MBmagazine.co.uk Web Development Team 42 513
3 AFC Gilmour Mike Gilmour 51 501
4 Nemesis Chancers Terry Venables 25 497
5 Ballbenders United Jamie Bryant 42 496
6 The Tickled Rats FC zac wharton 39 496
7 Webb Ellis Triers David Louis 32 492
8 Beerpigs Thornetv 11 Glynn Hemingway 26 491
9 Team sheep – Anglia nick bendall 40 490
10 Stretford Enders Dan Mellett 44 488
11 SportingOrangeToupee Adrian Henderson 37 481
12 mainline rams return Nathan Wayne 30 477
13 Leeds Utd chris h 25 475
14 MobileB Masters Don Macinnes 29 474
15 Back2Back Champs FC Paul Llewellyn 21 470
16 Beefy’s Boys Steve Gray 36 469
17 sprintspurs paul leonard 46 467
18 Forest Fire Mainline Lee Dunstan 48 466
19 Real Dextra Paddy Brennan 31 465
20 Orange Balls FC Daryl Dodds 40 464
21 alfies HS reds dave wegoda 53 461
22 mekschlong emeka njodi 38 460
23 Cambell’s Kids chris pearson 58 458
24 Athletico Danny Danny Lack 51 457
25 The Girlie Show Sara Cox 35 448
26 Eximedia Exocets Geoff Coe 38 447
27 And the winner is… Stuart Connellan 31 447
28 Orangetina Stephen Middleton 31 445
29 mainline munchies toni proverbs 44 443
30 Gamst Left Boot Greg Wallace 58 442
31 Mainline Whizzers Andrew Boden 29 441
32 Phones 4 United Phil Lancake 28 438
33 mainlines kerrys kerry stone 37 437
34 Mainline Owl DAVID GARB 50 435
35 good mornin mainline Jamie Coxall 37 428
36 MCC Matthew Brewster 32 427
37 irish facial michael white 43 423
38 goodfellas troy clements 39 420
39 OU Conference Champs Tom Popple 33 418
40 orange u glad im bum alison burke 45 415
41 ColumbusTelecom Jason George 39 412
42 MB Print Sales Print Sales 40 411
43 If only JEN MONAGHAN 35 410
44 Header Chris Jones 45 402
45 Classie Nemesis Tony Adams 47 394
46 Felching Flouncers Ben Taylor 24 383
47 nemesis reserves steve simpson 30 380
48 Clockwork Orange Yvonne Culshaw 28 365
49 Never Blue Teresa Warwick 35 341
50 The Fatdads Julien Cozens 33 335