The Laws

The Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

The Law of the Telephone When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

The Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

The Law of Variation If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works also for queues at the Post Office.)

The Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

The Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases exponentially when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

The Law of Results When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. (The converse is also true.)

The Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule 1 The people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Theatre Rule 3 Anyone with a cough will chose to sit as close to you as possible.

The Law of Latte As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a gym changing room, they will have adjacent lockers.

The Law of Location No matter where you go, there you are.

The Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.